"If You Board a Night Bus, and There's a Man Sitting on the Back Row: GET OFF IMMEDIATELY" | ClancyPasta PRESENTS

[00:00:00] ClancyPasta Presents, If You Board a Night Bus, and Theres a Man Sitting on the Back Row, GET OFF IMMEDIATELY. That Is Not a Man. By Spooky Matt Music, and You're Listening to ClancyPasta.

[00:00:32] It's been ten years since my best friend went missing. No one believed me then when I insisted that I knew the truth. I had no solid proof, but I'm certain of what I saw that night. I know it was the man on the night bus, and I know that my best friend is surely dead.

[00:01:00] Granted, we were both recent college graduates at the time. However, any common sense we may have been able to exercise became completely irrelevant after several rounds of tequila. We were just so happy that all those long months of study and testing were finally over. Damn, I miss him. Obviously.

[00:01:28] Driving was out of the question. We were drunk, not brain dead. We should have called a taxi, like my friend smartly suggested, but I said to him, Nah, dude. Buses are cheaper. We'd already spend more cash than I'd care to admit. And I'd be damned if I was going to waste any more on an overpriced city cab.

[00:01:55] Not when there was a perfectly good, less expensive night bus fairly close by. It was full of the usual suspects. Tired shift workers. Some teenagers who were clearly smoking something illicit from a barely hidden backpack. A few more of our inebriated brethren.

[00:02:18] And there on the back row of seats, obscured by shadow and a large black hooded coat, was a man sitting alone. We nonchalantly handed over some coins to the driver. He responded in kind with complete silence. Probably sick of all the intoxicated travelers, I thought. Then we made our way to some vacant seats in the middle. The bus was old.

[00:02:48] Antique, even. Very different to the other city buses. Though I assumed it was just the only one available for this late of a service. So I paid a little attention. At the time, it seemed pretty usual for a weekend around here. Small, no-name cities tend to get boring. And most people end up leaning towards substance abuse to some capacity eventually.

[00:03:18] Actually, it was pretty common here for people to go missing. Or even end up dead in some gloomy back alley. Probably why my friend's disappearance was so poorly investigated. Just more of the same around here. I hate this place. One by one.

[00:03:48] Everyone else disappeared off the bus. Pretty soon it was down to me, my friend, the driver, and the man in the back row. We thought nothing of it at the time, as we were still blissfully celebrating our well-earned success. It wasn't until I checked my phone and realized the time displayed hadn't changed at all since we'd embarked.

[00:04:19] It must have been my phone glitching, I thought. People had gotten off earlier, so some amount of time must have elapsed. Then again, I didn't actually recall seeing them get off. Like, they were there, then suddenly gone. I assumed it was just the alcohol messing with my perception.

[00:04:49] And asked my friend to check his phone. Same issue. Okay, so… Maybe just lack of signal on both our parts or something else? Fine. I'd ask the driver how long it was until our stop was coming up. I walked up to the front right past the sign that said,

[00:05:16] Please don't disturb the driver while in transit. And asked, Hey, how long till we get to Mable… sorry, Maple Street? No answer. Perhaps my words were more slurred than I realized. I tried a second time. Slower and sure to enunciate each word. Sorry.

[00:05:46] How long till Maple Street? Again, nothing. Didn't even move his head. I was getting a little annoyed, so… I walked right up to the driver's seat and craned my head over so I could see the guy's face. It was just a mannequin. Not a great one at that.

[00:06:15] Kinda like if a five-year-old made it. The fu- I began, but was cut off by a voice emitting from the driver, but also somehow… From behind me? From the back row. Please return to your seat.

[00:06:44] It almost sounded like a… Tinny speaker, but… When you can also hear the person using it… Neither did it seem wholly human. Not for lack of trying, but… More like when you use a… Text-to-speech.

[00:07:01] I panically returned to my friend, being careful not to alert the man who I'd just now realized hadn't actually moved since we got on the bus. Dude… We need to get off. Now… I whispered, quickly beginning to sober up.

[00:07:30] What, did we miss our stop? Shit, I hate walking. Didn't you hear the driver? The voice? The guy behind us? Whoa, chill out. I can barely understand anything you're… I interjected, signaling him to get closer while trying my best to keep my voice down. Something… Is seriously wrong with this bus.

[00:08:00] I don't know how to explain it, but we need to get off… Right now. My friend was clearly dismissive of my manic ramblings. Though… I did still have the hint of liquor on my breath… So I couldn't blame his reaction. Unfortunately, he now seemed determined to get to the bottom of the whole commotion.

[00:08:29] Relax, alright. Sit down, take a breath… I'm… Going up there to talk with the guy. Don't worry, I'll sort it out. He was the brave one of us. Always stayed cool in a bad situation… No matter the severity of the problem. But when he stood up from his seat… Calmly walked up… Said a few words…

[00:08:57] And then abruptly started walking back… Looking straight at the floor… I knew something was wrong. Then… Without taking his eyes off his incessantly tapping converse… He said flatly… We're going to die… He looked at me… Face white as a ghost… What…

[00:09:26] What do you mean… My voice was now shaking… Didn't you hear what he said? What he said? Cautiously gesturing his head… To the man behind us… No… You just walked up there… Said something I couldn't make out… Then you came back… Christ… What did he say? I was really starting to panic…

[00:09:56] This wasn't like him at all… Always so collected… So strong… Stoic, even… And yet… He was beginning to cry… You don't have to, though… He sniffed… You can get off… He… They… It… Said so…

[00:10:25] At the next stop… Please… I'm begging you… Now… Tears were pouring down his face… I replied… I'm not getting off without you… What exactly did that thing say to you? I could now feel a new emotion rising… Anger… What…

[00:10:54] Had caused… My best friend to break down so completely? I was about to get up… Ready to confront whoever or whatever… Was holding us hostage on this double-decker bus from hell… Then… Before I had a chance to move… A familiar voice came… From right behind… My head… You should get off…

[00:11:25] I froze… It was that… Same… Uncanny… Humanoid drone that I'd heard earlier… And now it was only mere inches away from the back of my head… I said nothing… Just kept staring at my friend and… I could see in his face that he'd heard the voice too… This time… We just sat there in silence…

[00:11:53] Not daring to turn our heads to meet the source… Of the voice… Something in my gut knew that if we looked… There was no chance of escaping a lie… Only one… It continued… Your stop is next… Leave…

[00:12:23] I could feel something… Gently press against the back of my shoulder… It was cold… But not a hand… Too many… Fingers… It radiated like walking into the freezer aisle of a grocery store… Then… The bus came to a sudden stop… And the door slid open… I didn't know what I was about to do… But…

[00:12:53] I had to be quick… I… I readied myself… Tensing my muscles for whatever action I was about to take… But… The moment… I began to move… My body went… Black… Then without explanation… I was on the sidewalk… Back where we first stepped on the bus… Yet… There was no sign of the vehicle… The man…

[00:13:21] Or my best friend… They had all vanished… I was alone… I went to the police… Not that it helped much… They took one whiff of my breath… And barely paid my story any attention… They did eventually investigate my friend's disappearance…

[00:13:50] But it went… Nowhere… Like I said… It's… Nothing out of the ordinary around… For people to go missing and never be seen again… The only thing that came to light was… My friend… Like so many others… Had… Succumbed to drugs… During our final year at college… I guess I'd just mistaken as high as for blind confidence… No…

[00:14:20] Body… Was ever recovered… At least as far as I can tell… I've spent the last ten years looking for my friend… And have come up… Empty handed… Spending every… Single night… Staking out the place where we embarked on that god-forsaken bus… I've neglected my family… Friends…

[00:14:49] Health… And even a promising career… I now drink… Heavily… Everyday scrounging for pennies to meet my needs… Always returning to that street… Waiting… I think eventually… I'll find that bus again… Though by that I mean it'll… Find me… It came when we needed it…

[00:15:20] When my friend… Needed it… I understand now… I'll be seeing you soon… Buddy… Anyway… I'm about to get kicked out of this library… So… If anyone reads this… Just… Remember… If you see a man… On the back row of a night bus… You need… To get off…

[00:15:49] Though by that point… It's probably… Too… Late… Goodbye… …